Family and the Chi-Town Burbs

Getting to see my family is always fun. I’m chilling and seeing family if they want to stop by. They know I’m in and my number. Driving to Illinois I need to grab Indiana’s sign but when I get to Indiana there are cops parked right next to it, so I’m not gonna stop their cause I don’t know how legal it is for me to stop on the side of the road for no reason other than taking a pic in front of a sign and I can see the cops being pretty upset with that. Bu I think I can get it when I get into Illinois. Wrong. As I pull into Illinois it starts to monsoon. Lakes are forming as I drive through. This isn’t going to stop me from getting a pic though. But the fact that both the Indiana and Illinois state signs are hanging on the overpass so not even a chance to get my pic in front of this one. And my state sign goal is diminishing quickly. I think I’m up to missing 3 states. I get into town and grab a subway sandwich and chill and catch up with gram for the night before I hit the sack. The second day I’m chilling all day and hang with my cuz Destiny. We go to a mall cause I’ve never seen one of those, lol. My other cuz Ethan calls up and tells us that he is gonna be at work for a couple hours and should come by. He works at a batting cage and hell yes. Lets smack the shit out of some balls, or try to at least. We jump into the softball pit and Destiny tries to kill us on numerous occasions, some coming close to my manhood some whizzing past my ear. I jump in and suck it up lol. This is the most activity I’ve done in over a month. I swing at 3 balls and start a sweat, lol. We finish off a couple buckets and head over to my Aunt and Uncle’s house and my cousin’s friend is by and I’m ready to do some drinking. We throw back a couple drinks at the house; eat a bite of food that we cook up. Chili dogs and such, and head out to a bar called Flip flops. Now I’m already kinda tipsy and I figure beer all night, cause Vinnie was just gonna have a couple. HA right. It’s like a class reunion, but that’s how it is in any suburb in any state. A couple beers turns into jager shot. YAY. BLAHHHHHH. Fucking jager needs to be discontinued. So to uhhh thank them? For the jager shots. So I order good bourbon. 3 shots of Makers. I take it down like a champ just like I did the jager, cause I’m a drunk. They wince and look like they are about to spit up for Christ sakes. They don’t like Makers!! Jim Beam is good though. Jesus, I have to teach these people how to drink lol. Good people though everyone of them. Couple more beers later another shot is coming and they are going for Irish car bomb. Now they don’t like Makers but will drink shit that curdles in your stomach. And I don’t like to puke pancakes (if you’ve ever had too much to drink and had a car bomb or 2 and puked on the floor it splats out like pancake in the morning), so I’m doing Makers again, and I’m getting called a pussy?? Whatever I’m gonna feel good tomorrow. We finish up drinking and Vinnie does what he said he was gonna do all night and walk out on his bill. But I forget to pay my tab so I go back in and sign it, and they are asking me where he is and if he left. I look her straight in the eye and say “I don’t know, my cousin is coming to pick me up”, drunk as fuck I think I did pretty well, but I’m sure she didn’t believe me at all. I walk outside and Vinnie is chilling smoking and we need to sneak past the window of the bar like kids coming back into their house past your parent’s room. Ridiculous. Get home fine thank God, cause he doesn’t remember getting us there. Always comforting.
The next day me and Uncle Wally get up and get my hung over ass down to the White Sox game. I’ve been before and I like it a lot but they pretty much shut out the back of the stadium. Most stadiums like to show the city behind the stadium. Chicago doesn’t want to show you the South Side. LoL and that’s understandable. Nothing to amazing is going on. Kinda a boring game. They played the Marlins in interleague play, neither team played very well but no big thing. This is another stadium that doesn’t let you downstairs if you have upstairs tickets. Which is such bullshit. We almost made an early exit. I go to take my top of the stadium pic and dude tells me I can’t stand there. I politely tell him I’m just taking a pic and will move in a sec. He repeats himself, I ignore and he repeats himself again. I in my polite way toward all people who are jackass’s tell him, “look man I’ve been to like 20 stadiums and taken this picture, you’re not gonna tell me I can’t take this picture.” He continues to tell me to move, and hes asked me 3 times. And me still being polite tell him that he could tell his fucking mother, I don’t care. I’m taking this picture and then I’ll move.” I was standing there for less than 2 min; I would have been gone in less if this piece of shit with a little power would have stopped talking to me. He offers to call security, I politely tell him to go fuck himself and I walk away. Fucking people. I go to my seat and watch the Sox win for 20 – 3 record. We grab some Portillo’s which I like heaven for people in the suburbs. Italian steak, hot dogs, burgers, salads, everything you can think of. The Italian steak is like their version of the Philly cheese steak, without the nasty cheese on it. After some food and relaxation, my cuz comes to pick me up again and it’s time for a house party of sorts. It’s Vinnie friends, mom’s 60th b-day party and they have been drinking all day. Apparently the birthday girl did a beer bong with a wine cooler. That’s ridiculous and gross!!! Always fun watching the elders get fucked up. By the time I got there, there was no catching up. They were on a different level and seeing the 2 tables of beer pong and hearing of people play flippy cup I know why. Quick note: If you ever want to win at beer pong don’t ask me to be on your team. Everyone there was at the bar last night and now start referring to me as Tim Lincecum. My hair is getting long, and I do have a Giants hat on, but I don’t have the fucked up teeth and I don’t look 13. But being called Timmy is way better then what I’m used to getting called in the Midwest, when people find out I’m from SF. Did you know everyone from SF is gay? It’s news to me. LOL. Hours of drinking and a couple of beer pong games later we call it a night and hit the hay. Not as overly ridiculous as I thought it was gonna be. And everyone couldn’t have been nicer. I love the Midwest.
Today is the Blackhawks game, and some of the family is coming over for food and booze and to watch the game. Now I can care less about hockey but the further it gets into the playoffs, the more its keeping me interested. We have more Italian beef for lunch/dinner. Why is there still no word for lunch/dinner?? Why is no one working on this? I’ll give someone a dollar if they come up with a name for lunch/dinner. And I digress. The Blackhawks win cause I’m ion town and home team wins everything. Kinda sucks watching the Sharks lose again. I’d be making fun of everyone in SF if I was there but here I wanted them to win. At least a game. Eating, drinking and much needed relaxation all day was nice.
Monday was much of the same. Less drinking and eating but sitting around grams house and watching TV and just enjoying doing nothing, and building up hate for the Dodgers that are coming into town. My baby has gone about 8,000 miles and needed a much needed bath. I wish there was a way to count how many bugs I killed cause I think I’d have the world’s record. I’m prob gonna need a tiny detailing when I get back to get all the bug splatter off my grill. I get that all done and head to Uncle Steve’s for a nice cook out with more of the fam. There are like 1,000 of them out here. It’s hard to keep track of everyone. But nice to see them, since no one ever comes out to see us. Yea, that’s right family that is reading this. Any way good food, good company and more sitting around relaxing being made to watch the Bachelorette. What a shit show.
Tuesday the Dodgers are in town, and Ethan and I are gonna head into town on the train and hopefully keep my good home team record in tacked. We walk in the overly hot sun, and probably about 90 degree weather to the train station. I’m already regretting not bringing beer, but I’m not thinking you can drink on the train. You can. Cuz!! You dropped the ball on this one. On the way to the train we run into one of his friends dad’s who also says I look like Timmy. That’s kinda weird. We jump on the train and right away there is a Dodgers fan. And I did what I have to and that’s give her shit. Like a real rivalry goes!!! The other people in her group almost immediately offer us a beer. Awesome!!! Too bad we didn’t bring our own beer CUZ!!!! Damnit. It’s only about 45 min on the train into the city, but then you have to walk 10 min to another intercity train station. Wasn’t really stoked on that part of the Metro. You think they’d have this figured out and it would connect. At least I get to see where some of Batman was filmed. It takes another 10 min, and I want to get tickets and get some food and booze. Easier said than done. We walk around trying to find a scalper. We run into 1 who tells me the price and gives me the tickets then takes them back. Which worked out well. But what kind of scalper sells you a ticket then takes it back?? Bush league. We end up going to the window and its 3X more cause the Dodgers a premium team. As we are about to buy cheap tickets in the nose bleeds, or what is considered the nose bleed tickets a guy comes up and offers us the better tickets then the scalpers for the same price. We then try and eat but no one in Wrigleyville lets underage kids into the bars, and since he has no fake yet we have to beg one place to let us sit outside and eat. Goose Island thank you and awesome. Deep fried pickles, big ass burgers, good house brewed beer and cheap shots or whisky. Of course I order myself Makers and the kid ain’t that sophisticated and will drink piss if it’s got alcohol in it. I remember those days. So he gets a cheap shot of whisky as he downs it. We smarten up here and need a bottle of vodka for the game. I can only imagine what beers are in Wrigley. But they aren’t that bad. I think I remember like $7.25 of something. So the norm. The stadium is awesome, of course. They have the same kind of walkway around the stadium as the Indians. You get to walk around the stadium and still watch the game. The concession and bathrooms are a little hard to get to, but whatever you’re in a 100 year old stadium and its awesome. It looks like there is only room for about 30,000 people if that. It’s just so tiny. The rooftops look cool as hell. The only negative is that there isn’t a video board. I’m used to keeping up with stats and pitch count and all those things but you can’t really do that. I think that’s why the Cubbies fans just get drunk the whole time and don’t really pay attention. Wrigley is more of a party with a baseball game going on than a baseball game with a party. The Cubbies thank God win. I don’t think I could take the Dodgers winning again. 21 – 3. We jump on the train and take what seems like a 4 hour trip back home. That’s what not keeping your buzz going will do. Knock you right out.
OK so today I needed Chicago pizza. I’m gonna drive back down to Chicago and hit up Uno’s which apparently is where one of Chicago’s best pizza is. And Bocci’s which is a regular pizza but very good. But after driving down to the South Side for the Sox game and the 2 hour ride back home after the game I’m not really looking forward to the traffic. Apparently there are 4 freeways that take you into Chicago and they are working on 3 of them. They only have 6 month to work on them, cause then the weather gets bad and the concrete doesn’t settle right. And if I do the math right, there are 6 months of shitty weather, which mean traffic, and 6 months of working on freeways, which means traffic. 2hr 30min to go 45 min. That’s fucked Anyway what else do I have to do today. Uno’s is right downtown, which sucks cause there’s not gonna be any parking. But there are loading zones and signs that say put your flashers on and you get 30 min and everything will be ok. Uno’s pizza takes about 25 min to cook, so I’m cutting it close. I have a beer and chat with some folks, and grab my personal size pizza. I go to my car cause I don’t want a ticket, but too late. I get my first ticket on my trip. Oh well, we will see if I get anything in the mail. I cut off the first piece of pizza and ohhh yea!!! Buttery, flakey crust. Amazing ingredients. Great sausage, fresh mushrooms and peppers. DELCIOUS!!!! For those of you in the city go to Little Star Pizza. They do it right there to. These pizza’s always take a little longer but well worth it. Usually the sausage is what makes the pizza. It always fresh and herbaceous. And not to sound gay but I love sausage. I don’t care how many jokes from that one. Rousamande on Haight St. in the city is awesome. I take a few more bites and head back up to Wrigleyville for Bocci’s. I would have grabbed it last night but I was still full from the Goose Island food. I run into this place and as I’m looking at the pizza this girl says excuse me. I turn to her in my Giants shirt and hat and she asks are you a huge Cubbies fan? I laugh and point to ummm me. No, I politely respond and go back to starting at this pizza. The full pizza is about 3 feet in diameter; I ask for a slice of, of course sausage and pepperoni. Now looking at the pizza I know it’s gonna be kinda big slice but he slides his shovel underneath the slice and him and 2 other guys lift the slice from the board and put in a garbage bag and give it to me to throw over my shoulder like Santa Claus. And I am getting to look like him more and more. Especially when everywhere I go for a special food I get 2 and go back and forth from one to the other. What I’m trying to say is that this pizza is fucking huge; no joke the size of my head at least. Now when I open it up I’m assuming big can’t be good also. I’m wrong. The crust is fluffy and sauce is happening, and the pepperoni and sausage great. This behemoth of a slice of pizza cost me $5. I’m eating a bite of the Bocci’s then a bite of Uno’s and back and forth. I only get about ½ done with Uno’s and its small it’s like 6in in diameter. And I get about ¼ probably less of the Bocci’s. I’m in heaven. But that’s enough of the city, I have to get back before the traffic gets worse. I get to go by the beach, there are a ton of people out since it is like 90 out again. But that water still has to be freezing. This is such a beautiful city. I get about 5 min from Gram’s house and I drive right into a monsoon, again. I just washed my car for Christ’s sake. I can’t see out of my window, I don’t even want to get out of my car, knowing I’m going to be drenched in 4.5 sec. It is amazing how rainy it can be and how hot it can be at the same time. I run into Aunt Sandy and Uncle Wally’s house dodging lightning bolts and trying to slip and fall in a lake. I chill, digest and dry out. Gram calls with plans for dinner with the fam again before I leave tomorrow for Milwaukee. We head over to John’s, this place isn’t that good. But it’s cheap and where my gramps loved to go when he was alive. People are nice of course and there is beer so I can’t complain too much. We head back to the house with Dairy Queen. I swear I’m gonna be Santa Claus by the time I get back. I was close before I went on this trip. My other cuz Justin wants to go to this dive bar for a couple and I’m always down. Especially when they are .75 per cup. Granted the cup is like 6 or 8 oz. We head there and pound back 20 – 30 each lol I don’t know how many, but was a lot. They kept dropping them off dozens. We only spend a little bit there. I head back to Grams and pass out so I can get up early and go to the day game tomorrow in Milwaukee and then head to Shelly’s.