One Star = Lone Star

So waking up in I Have No Clue, TX. I know it’s about 4 or 5 hours from Arlington. And it’s another 30 min to Dallas. I want to see where JFK was shot and walk around a little bit. Pulling into Dallas was a great feeling. Being in an actual city and seeing buildings and things and stuff. It is a nice feeling being back in a city after being on the road following a storm all night. And since my dad told me Tornado’s don’t go into city’s and only stay in trailer parks, lol I knew I was safe. Dallas is a very nice looking city. Older looking but still has that new kinda look to it. Dealy Plaza isn’t very far into the city it’s pretty much right off the freeway. I park and go into the museum. Nice little audio tour. It only cost like $16 and you get to see the 6th floor, get an audio tour and a cell phone tour where you can go out and see the plaza and all the history where he drove and such. It was a weird experience cause you’d think that the government wouldn’t really talk about the conspiracy theory surrounding JFK. But it’s all over the museum and on a plaque outside on the Book Depository is a sign that says this is where Lee Harvey Oswald supposedly shot JFK. The upstairs is a tad bit boring and nothing I hadn’t seen on the History Channel but it was very cool to see were Oswald was when he shot the President. You couldn’t take any pics but what ya gonna do. It takes like 20 min max to see everything at least at my pace. I start the cell phone tour outside. Now I do love myself a conspiracy theory and this is bull shit. K on TV it makes it look like everything is so far away from another. I think the distance from Oswald to where JFK was shot 2 times is less than 100 yards. On TV it looks like miles. But the first shot looks so close to me and a military trained guy who can shoot just doesn’t seem that hard to me. Then how close the Grassy Knoll is to where he was shot is even closer and seeing how close it was it boggles my mind how people can think they heard a shot from there and not know for sure. It’s too close to think that you might have heard a gunshot. If your 20 feet from a gunshot you know you heard a gunshot. Was a very informative trip there.
I go to Arlington and stop for lunch at this little shit hole. On the wall its says Jager is our house wine so you know you are in a classy joint. I get a burger that is famous in Arlington. It’s actually decent. Nothing I’d recommend in SF but for a stop off burger not bad. I grab a shitty hotel and relax for a while. I head to the game. It’s like 6 blocks from where I am staying and I find out that the Cowboy Stadium is right next door. This place is huge!!!!! A picture does no justice. You look at the baseball stadium and you go yea that’s big and you turn your head and you see this Coliseum and you just go, now that’s TEXAS BIG. Massive, gaudy and ridiculously awesome. I’ll need to go to a game there one day in my life. Getting the feeling in Arlington though is I think it would be like going to a Raider game. Maybe I’ll just go for a tour in the future. The stadium is nice. Again people aren’t really the brightest. When I was driving through Texas I was listening to a comedian on the satellite radio and he’s talking about how people who usually stay in one star hotels shouldn’t stay had 4 star hotels. And how the people in Texas are 1 star people. That’s why they call it the Lone Star state. Lol This state is defiantly Lone Star quality. I mean small questions like where is your main gate? Umm there all main gates. You can tell who is from Texas to. Ohhhh weeee. There’s no mistaking the southerner’s. Everybody is married and pregnant. And if your older than 30 your body has deteriorated to the slap jawed yokel. Anyway, the game was cool I actually got to root for the home team. Inside the stadium I smell something very familiar. It kinda smells like the Mission District at 11 o’clock. It gets my tummy rumbling. I’m really hoping there is bacon wrapped around those dogs. No such luck. Just dogs and grilled onions. I grab one and a soda and start dripping the flask into the spite. Texas goes up and my luck so far they give it up and the Tigers tie it up in the 9th. Now this is an awesome part. So its fireworks night, with music to Elvis. Because they are celebrating this Kid named Elvis on the team. So bases loaded in and who comes up?? Elvis it is. He hits a base hit to center and wins the game on his night. Not too bad of an ending not to bad at all. I walk my happy ass through 2 parking lots by myself, kinda like walking through Candlestick Park’s parking lot. No one around and kinda ghetto but whatever nothings there. I find out where a bar is and grab a taxi and get ready for some drinking. Of course it starts to pour down rain cause that’s all it does in the south is just damn rain!!!! I really should have checked a forecast before I left. But whatever. I go in to this shitty bar in a strip mall where everyone from that town is at. Nice live music and well that’s it. Women aren’t the best down here in the “One Star State” I grab a drink and am walking outside for a smoke. I light up; take a sip and turn around to see the craziest things I think I’ve ever seen. Right out of the Twilight Zone. There is a sign out on the patio that says “Arlington city law prohibits smoking on patios” YOU CANT SMOKE OUTSIDE AT BARS!!!!! You have to grab a drink light up smoke inside and if you want to leave put your cigarette out before you walk outside then cross the patio and light up again!!!!!! Are you fucking kidding me???!! My mind was so boggled I had to ask the cop that was stationed in the bar. Yes a cop’s job was to sit in the bar and make sure everything was ok in this one bar. He said yea it’s a little ass backward but ehhhh. After that I had to have a couple more to calm down a little and got a cab to the hotel and passed out tomorrow is in Houston.

BTW forgot to tell everyone i was in the stadium and i was going up the escalators and i started to walk up them and the guy at the bottem told me to stop walking up them. It was against the rules of the stadium!!! Again are you kidding me??!!